Announcement

Reports of my unemployment have been greatly exaggerated. I now have a job offer--one I may decline.

I walked into a large discount retailer hoping to buy some nylon zip-ties and a rubbermaid storage container. Remembering that I'm unemployed and can't afford to buy anything, I redirect myself to the employment kiosk. Two and a half hours later, I left with a job offer and these high points from 2 totally unexpected interviews:

1. Computer crashes mid-application: So I was at this red kiosk and the computer on which I was filling out an endless application is working fine. At question 41 of 60, however, the machine insta-self-reboots.

2. Managers wearing identical mis-matched shoes and socks: I was interview by two managers; both had brown loafers with one black and one blue sock.

3. Manager confirms that I understand what constitutes an illicit substance, suppresses chuckle as I sign form.

4. My responses were written down verbatim: this made me feel really bad for the guy, since I was re-telling anecdotes from SuperHappyFunLand, my former place of employment. He had to copy the phrase "how he did that?"--and then concede that my future co-workers could be expected to make similar grammatical errors.

5. Interviewer 2: asks me point-blank why I would leave teaching to come work at his store. Thanks for instilling confidence, future boss!


I still don't have those zip-ties, so my green Speedster remains milk-crate-less and the milk crate sits on my bedroom floor, holding the remnants of my business-pro wardrobe. If I take the job, they'll give me a red polo anyway. . .