Don't Tase Me, Bro

**These are not some great revelations I've had, but rather what everyone is thinking. I think**

John Kerry was giving a talk in Florida and during the Q and A, a young guy who'd drunk waaay too much coffee beforehand met the business end of the Thomas A. Swift Electric Rifle (TASER). While watching the incident on youtube, I couldn't really figure out who to blame for the situation getting out of hand. Here are some thoughts, though:

1. Dude did not observe decorum. Now I'm not such a huge stickler for the rules that I support tasing people who step out of line--lord knows I've dropped A at the wrong place and wrong time and walked away tase-free. But I do think it's obnoxious to take over the mic at a town hall event or a lecture. If you were so important, they'd have invited you to talk. Ask a question, move along. That's the routine. Dude did not follow the routine.

Dude also brought props, a book critical of Kerry's hasty concession of the 2004 election, and announced his intention to ask 2 more questions, presumably in the same loud, high-pitched, and spastic voice. These questions, I'm sure, would have been more incoherent babbling without an argument or a question.

He clearly planned to jack move Kerry and soak up a couple minutes of the limelight. I don't care if he wants to clown Kerry, but I'd prefer him to be intelligent and brief. Unfortunately, he was neither. I really don't mind that security cut the mic and pulled him away.

Finally, Dude resisted. He pushed, shoved, and shouted, and, once on the ground, kicked and swung wildly, screaming all the while. Congrats, Dude, you just kicked and screamed your way into the gray area where a tasing is probably still excessive but defensible. "Don't tase me, bro!"?

Bro? There's no same-team benefit, here, Dude. They want you to shut the hell up and get the hell out. He ain't your bro, and he's gonna tase your ass if you don't calm down and shut up.

2. Campus cops overreacted. You don't need to tase a dude at a lecture series event unless he's a danger to himself or others. The only danger that guy posed was to the eardrums of the other people in attendance. Yeah, he was creating a sideshow, but so what?

Douchebaggery is not a tasable offense in my book. Drag the guy out. But he kicked and swung? So? The five of you should be able to take out a skinny college kid. Plus, kicking and swinging doesn't constitute enough of a threat to justify a tasing.

Houston Police Department got a lot of bad PR last year because someone recorded and leaked the agonized cries of a man tased by some trigger happy cops on the east side. This incident happened just after a guy became a statistical anomaly and died from a tasing.

The constable was then forced to clarify the HPD position on tasings. According to him, the TASER should be used in lieu of deadly force. That's right, use the TASER instead of the revolver. Use the nightstick or approved holds to subdue. Would the cops be justified in shooting the man to pacify him? No, of course not. By that logic, no tasing either.

3. Kerry and the crowd were sheep. Why didn't Kerry or the other attendees tell dude to shut up and get off the mic?

I attended a distinguished lecture series event featuring F.W. de Klerk, the former South African President who, along with Nelson Mandela, abolished apartheid and won a Nobel Peace Prize. During that event, there were two incidents similar to the Dude's above: one woman got on the mic and bashed de Klerk for five minutes, in Afrikaans.

De Klerk translated and addressed her concerns (which were really intense--where are my brothers? You jailed them.). Then, when she tried to go on and on, he interrupted her and said, "This is a public forum and you've had your five minutes. Please let the next person speak." And she sat down.

Then a young guy stood up on his seat and shouted, "You should be in jail! You're a murderer! Tens of thousands of people are dead at your hands!" The crowd turned on that guy and he was shamed into silence by shouts of "Wait your turn!" and "Shut up and let him talk about it!"
De Klerk looks at dude and says, You have just accused me of very serious crimes, but I could barely understand you because of all your shouting. Next time, you'll do your cause better by not appearing to be a lunatic in public. Then he talked about whether he was a murderer.

While he spoke, the President of the university found the young guy and pulled him aside to talk to him. No tasing necessary. When speakers and the crowd handle their biz, people don't get tased.

Kerry? He hemmed and hawed kinda told the campus police to let him handle it. Then, just prior to the zapping, says, "I'll, uh, I'll answer the question."


There are several lessons to learn here:

1. Don't be a jackass at a public forum
2. Don't get all adrenalined up and reach for the TASER
3. If you're the speaker, handle the crowd. If you're the crowd, handle the hecklers.

Now back to work.