Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
'Stuff--' harbinger of the derisive chuckle
People taught me educational objectives throughout my childhood, but recently I wonder if I didn't miss a lesson along the way. . .
Last week I tried to wrap up a phone call with a lame request for "questions, comments, lame jokes or funny stuff." My customer laughed disgustedly and said, "Heh. Stuff." under his breath.
On another call, one of my customers said stuff and then immediately retracted it. "Stuff? Oh my god, no. I meant medications."
Is there something wrong with the word stuff? Wouldn't you get it if I had used "stuff" instead of "educational objectives" in the first sentence above. More importantly, wouldn't you like me better?
Last week I tried to wrap up a phone call with a lame request for "questions, comments, lame jokes or funny stuff." My customer laughed disgustedly and said, "Heh. Stuff." under his breath.
On another call, one of my customers said stuff and then immediately retracted it. "Stuff? Oh my god, no. I meant medications."
Is there something wrong with the word stuff? Wouldn't you get it if I had used "stuff" instead of "educational objectives" in the first sentence above. More importantly, wouldn't you like me better?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Meet Bradley Schlozman
Schlozman was in the DOJ Civil Rights Division. He wanted only "Right Thinking Americans" in his crew. And to empathize that point, he left some voicemails to really hammer it home.
From the WSJ:
In a 2003 voice-mail message to a colleague, Schlozman said experience in civil rights law was not needed to work for the division. “‘I just want to make sure we don’t start confining ourselves to, you know, Politburo members because they happen to be a member of some, you know, psychopathic left-wing organization designed to overthrow the government,” he said.
. . .As long as I'm here, adherents of Mao's Little Red Book need not apply."
From the WSJ:
In a 2003 voice-mail message to a colleague, Schlozman said experience in civil rights law was not needed to work for the division. “‘I just want to make sure we don’t start confining ourselves to, you know, Politburo members because they happen to be a member of some, you know, psychopathic left-wing organization designed to overthrow the government,” he said.
. . .As long as I'm here, adherents of Mao's Little Red Book need not apply."
subterfuge
When the alarm rang at 0400 this morning, did I tell my girlfriend that it was 4 am? NO! I told her it was around 0600, and I was gonna snooze a bit. But don't worry, I'll reset it for 0700.
Are-you-crazy scolding? Avoided.
Get to work super early so I can leave while the sun still shines? Achieved.
When the furniture doods delivered some new goodies, did I tie up my dog or give the doods a warning not to let him out, lest he wander free for hours? NO! I tossed his favorite bone and like 12 doggie biscuits into the bathroom and after he uncertainly waddled into the room, I slammed the door shut and let him enjoy his calorie explosion.
Dog recovery effort? Avoided.
New furniture w/ minimal hassle? Achieved.
When I switched cell phone providers and got a new number, did I update my employer's cell phone database so I could be reached in the case of an urgent customer issue? N--, well, actually, YES! But the update hasn't been fully processed yet. . .
Annoying phone calls and non-urgent "emergencies?" Avoided.
Freedom from work? Achieved.
Subterfuge is awesome.
Are-you-crazy scolding? Avoided.
Get to work super early so I can leave while the sun still shines? Achieved.
When the furniture doods delivered some new goodies, did I tie up my dog or give the doods a warning not to let him out, lest he wander free for hours? NO! I tossed his favorite bone and like 12 doggie biscuits into the bathroom and after he uncertainly waddled into the room, I slammed the door shut and let him enjoy his calorie explosion.
Dog recovery effort? Avoided.
New furniture w/ minimal hassle? Achieved.
When I switched cell phone providers and got a new number, did I update my employer's cell phone database so I could be reached in the case of an urgent customer issue? N--, well, actually, YES! But the update hasn't been fully processed yet. . .
Annoying phone calls and non-urgent "emergencies?" Avoided.
Freedom from work? Achieved.
Subterfuge is awesome.
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