Think back to the first time you and your friends tried mixing all the sodas in the pop fountain. You watched each different fizz cascade into the 64 oz. Big Gulp, mesmerized as the cola-colored puddle metamorphosed into a rust-colored, guaranteed gut-buster of a beverage. You thought to yourself, "Is this a good idea?"

And if you're anything like me, you said, "What the hell," and took a sip and even as you felt your Cheetoes and chocolate milk crawling back up your throat (with just a hint of Dr. Pepper), you swore to all your friends--you swore to God--that it was the "best thing ever made, try it, you gotta try it, just try it." And in the end, after fighting back your lunch, you decided it wasn't really that bad. And you took another sip.

That's what life is like in mredison's neighborhood. Welcome.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

i get older. they stay the same age

I started seeing signs of my approaching 1/4 life crisis this week. Two things that tipped me off:

1) I've started cutting my hair to accommodate my receding hairline.

If I grow it out, it looks like I'm trying to cover up the gaps. If I bic'd it down, my Sig Oth would think I've reconsidered joining the Navy. Kind of a darned if you do, darned if you don't sort of situation.

But I look at it like this: If my hairline is receding and it looks bad to grow it out, why NOT buzz it down, leave just a little fuzz for the Sig Oth to rub, and call it a day? Makes showering a breeze. That's the route I've taken, but I do miss my hairline, which once looked something like this.


2) The things I want for Christmas are TOTALLY LAME!!!

The other day, I was walking through a hotel lobby, and I thought to myself: Man, it would be sweet to get a $200 gift certificate to Kohl's. I could get socks, nice ties, some of those grey slacks like the ones I accidentally left in that hotel in Oklahoma. . ., maybe a suit if it's onsale.

Then the part of my brain that actually thinks kicked in and rang the alarm: LAME, LAME, LAME!!!!! I resolved to think of better things, but. . .

Here's my list so far: Kohl's gift certificate, a new suit (since I melted my old one in the dryer--FYI, Dry Clean Only is a care instruction that merits your full attention), some sweet luggage, snowshoes, a backpack for hiking, some warm socks, winter boots.

See the pattern? Lame stuff that I would normally buy myself, but I'm too lazy/cheap to go out and get right now.


One redeeming thing about hitting my mid-twenties is that I've played enough guitar at this point to really appreciate Heavy Metal

And Beavis and Butthead is even funnier than when I watched it in 6th grade. Sigh. . .back to work.
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