Think back to the first time you and your friends tried mixing all the sodas in the pop fountain. You watched each different fizz cascade into the 64 oz. Big Gulp, mesmerized as the cola-colored puddle metamorphosed into a rust-colored, guaranteed gut-buster of a beverage. You thought to yourself, "Is this a good idea?"

And if you're anything like me, you said, "What the hell," and took a sip and even as you felt your Cheetoes and chocolate milk crawling back up your throat (with just a hint of Dr. Pepper), you swore to all your friends--you swore to God--that it was the "best thing ever made, try it, you gotta try it, just try it." And in the end, after fighting back your lunch, you decided it wasn't really that bad. And you took another sip.

That's what life is like in mredison's neighborhood. Welcome.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

subterfuge

When the alarm rang at 0400 this morning, did I tell my girlfriend that it was 4 am? NO! I told her it was around 0600, and I was gonna snooze a bit. But don't worry, I'll reset it for 0700.

Are-you-crazy scolding? Avoided.
Get to work super early so I can leave while the sun still shines? Achieved.

When the furniture doods delivered some new goodies, did I tie up my dog or give the doods a warning not to let him out, lest he wander free for hours? NO! I tossed his favorite bone and like 12 doggie biscuits into the bathroom and after he uncertainly waddled into the room, I slammed the door shut and let him enjoy his calorie explosion.

Dog recovery effort? Avoided.
New furniture w/ minimal hassle? Achieved.

When I switched cell phone providers and got a new number, did I update my employer's cell phone database so I could be reached in the case of an urgent customer issue? N--, well, actually, YES! But the update hasn't been fully processed yet. . .

Annoying phone calls and non-urgent "emergencies?" Avoided.
Freedom from work? Achieved.

Subterfuge is awesome.
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